Monday, March 12, 2012

Driving

Anyone that knows me will tell you I'm a pretty brave person. I'm brutally honest to the point of making people quite mad. I am strict and not afraid to lay down the law in situations that need it. But there are certain things that show a more timid side to me. A side that not often seen.

I like my comfort zones- just like anyone. When a new situation comes up in my life I often become shy and timid- until I become used to whatever situation I am in.

Now this part of me has gotten a lot better in the last few months with working. I'm not as much that way as I used to be. I've always loved change in the long run- and now that I'm working I've been met with new responsibility and new experiences that have challenged and grown me. I love my job and the experiences I've gained from it, both good and bad in parts. But it's been great and I'm thankful that I've had the opportunity to become very much less timid that I was.

That being said...One part of my life that I've always been afraid of is driving. When I was 15 my dad died so he never taught me how to drive and my mom just isnt...the right personality type for that. She's a mom- over protective and worrisome- she's better now but when I was 15...well you get the picture. haha. So when 16 rolled around- I didnt get my permit, 17, didnt get my permit. Then when I was 18 my mom finally said "You've got to do this." So I did- I took 2 driving classes and finally got my permit then 6 months later my license then in Aug of that year (I was still 18) I was in a car accident. I was fine but I totaled my car. Then a few months later I moved with my brother that helped me get a new car. Drove for a year with no problems then Aug of the year I was 19 I was in a worse car accident. Both myself and the other driver lived and had minor injuries. But thats when my mom and I were certain that something was wrong with my brain. I had blanked out and had what I now know as an "ACC moment" no warning at all. When I was diagnosed my doctor told me that I may never drive again. So I spent my whole time in college learning about ACC and learning about myself!

I learned the signs of when to tell a "blank out" would come. I learned that if I had a headache I was not to drive. Finally after I graduated college and learned how to control certain things about myself and my ACC I was granted permission to drive again. I was scared and so was my mother. But I knew it needed to happen. Finally after a year of talking about it I was able to get out there again.

I still have to be extremely cautious and I refuse to drive when I notice signs of my ACC. I refuse to put my life and the lives of others in danger. But I've overcome that obstacle in life. I have been able to become a good driver and I'm so alert now. I'm thankful for the experience and opportunities of this.

Know this my fellow ACCers that if I can overcome these things then so can you! If there is something you feel you can't do- learn how to cope with your ACC- see if you can be the exception to the rule. If you cannot- that is okay too! Your strength is in something else! I have faith in you and that you'll find you're obstacle to overcome. Mine was driving- and it's something that I'm always working at- what's yours?

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These blogs this week are going to be honest blogs- they will show you parts of me that you may not have realized are often on my mind. But I'm working to make Brain disorders, especially ACC, known! Brain disorders/diseases are scary but it's something that we ALL need to be aware of. We need to know that people that we may think are always happy have struggles too. I'm fine with driving now. God has given me the faith I needed in that area of my life. So now I'm spreading the word to others that may need to hear whats on my heart and mind! :)

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