Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Depression and ACC

Most of my life I've struggled with depression. When I was diagnosed with ACC it was a tough road.

As a teen when my father passed away I was so depressed...I felt like I lived in a black hole. I was bullied and told that even though he had cancer it was the fact that he had a daughter like me that actually killed him- all because of me being weird! Well it was 5 years later when I found out WHY I was labeled weird- because of my ACC! Family even told my doctor I was weird! So even though I have always seemed like a very happy person I struggled deeply with depression and it was magnified when I was told I had something wrong with my brain!

Depression is a serious issue. Meeting so many ACCers I've seen that most of us struggle with depression on top of our ACC but we also seem generally happy! It's a bit confusing I guess but I think it has to do with the fact that we all try to find things that make us happy even through our pain.

So far I've discussed issues that everyone goes through in their own way- not just ACCers. Those with ACC do have a difficult time, just like those with Autism, or other disorders/disabilities, a lot of the time these things are magnified to be worse for us then they would be for someone that is considered "normal."

As an ACCer I'm quite sensitive though anyone that truly knows me knows that I stand up for myself. But when my depression is bad my ACC is worse.

Some days I function normally. Then during times where I am depressed I blank out, forget where I am, I have panic and/or asthma attacks, I get the shakes, get migraines and my autism, add, and ocd tendencies are more noticeable. On Friday I will talk more about these symptoms that I personally have. Depression and ACC tend to work against me in a major way. But seemingly so when the sun rises and my depression is better so is my ACC.

Depression is temporary, and ACC is permanent. If I can live each day and take care of myself. Then I know everything will be alright. As I've closed each of these blog posts I say this: If I can do it you can! I mean that more now then in any of them. Though I mean it each time. Keep your head up and remember that you are not alone!

Haven't decided what we'll talk about tomorrow yet but I'm saving my ACC background for friday! :D

1 comment:

April potts said...

The depression and suicidal thoughts are the hardest to deal with knowing that at this time in my life I should be the happiest! I don't understand it or how to turn it off at times and then poof it goes away and it's like I forget